Ain't Nothing But A House Party
by Calico Yorki
Summary: This party would go down in infamy. Or everyone involved would die trying. The Rating may go up, but I intend for this to stick at T.
1. Chapter One: Invitation

It was a perfectly normal, sunny day.

But isn't it always when the shit's about to hit the fan something drastic? Well that's convenient, because today was going to go every which way but right, and a young Terran boy named Jim Hawking was about to find himself rocketing through a series of events that would forevermore be spoken of in hushed, reverent, awed tones as 'The Fred Luo Dance Party Event.'

Yes, this party was so legendary (Or legendarily s_hitty_ as Gene recalls it to this day) that it became classified as an Event in recorded history. At least, to the crew of the Outlaw Star, it did. It started innocently enough - A video invitation showing up at Starwind & Hawking Enterprises, forwarded straight from Fred Luo's compound. Gene advised chucking it. Jim seemed terrified to play the tape. Melfina wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Suzuka stood by silently, as was pre-usual. Aisha was stuffing her face with pork rolls - Once again, something the group had accepted as a daily routine. Eventually, the revelation that Melfina had learned the rare and highly dangerous 'Puppy Dog Eyes' technique was more than enough to break Gene into playing the tape. After crossing himself, of course.

"Geeene! Gene, Gene, Gene! I simply can't _believe_ it's been over a year since we last saw each other! I can only hope that you haven't been rendered destitute and in need of my financial aide! I'm always more than happy to lend you a hand!" Gene and Jim both muttered at that, but a nudge to both from Suzuka kept them quiet. "Well, I just wanted to let you all know that I'm having a party! If you all would be so kind as to act as extra bodyguards, I'll let you dance and eat, free of charge! Just consider it a little send-off to Starwind-Hawking enterprises, which a little birdy told me actually has a second store!" He laughed. "I guess I should say a little cat, but no matter. Please, do be there! I'd be so happy to have seven guests of honor like all of you!" All eyes were now on Aisha as the tape ended.

The Ctarl-Ctarl looked up from her plate. "Whaff? I di'n't do annyffinngggh!" She heaved, kicking her legs. If one of her kicks hit the table, there would be a _lot_ of food everywhere - Not to mention the wood and glass shrapnel. Thinking quickly, Suzuka sped to right behind the other young woman, raised her bokuto, and slammed the bottom of its grip into the small of her back. An entire pork roll flew across the room and landed conveniently in the trashcan. "Heeey! I was eating that!" She squeaked at the rap across her head.

"Correction," Suzuka said mirthlessly, "You were choking to death on that." She looked up from the scowling Ctarl-Ctarl. "Are we really going to go to this party? I'm not sure if Luo remembers that I'm technically still bound by contract to kill him once I get around to taking Mr. Starwind's head." At the pale look Gene's face gained, Suzuka cracked a rare smile and - If everyone there hadn't seen it, they'd have said the others were lying - Winked at him.

Gene spluttered. "Suzuka, was that a _joke?_ I've never heard you tell a joke the entire time I've known you!" Like the morning dew on a hot spring day, Suzuka's smile evaporated without a trace. "Well, you have a pretty smile, but at least now I'm more convinced I'm not dreaming." He checked his belt suspiciously. "Yep. Pants are still on. Not a dream." He cackled at the elbow Jim sent his way.

With a sigh, Jim looked around. "Look, I'm the _last guy_ who's gonna say we should abandon shop for even one day, but _Fred Luo_ is letting us into one of his parties for free! The best food! Reclining in the lap of luxury! A chance to spread our name around! Besides, I think the worst that can happen is that he makes us dress up in fancy outfits. A bullet Aisha and I are used to taking for you guys, anyways." He and Aisha shared a quick smile.

Melfina at last spoke up. "I think it would at least be nice to show up. After all, Fred Luo _has_ done a lot for us, even if we had to twist his arm or maneuvre around circumstances from time to time to make it there. He really, really cares about us, and I think it might hurt his feelings if we turn him down." She gently held Gene's hand. "Please, Gene?" And there, Gene was hit by the Puppy Dog Eyes Phantom Return. Melfina was a quick study in negotiation and verbal warfare. Gene had gone toe-to-toe with some of the deadliest space pirates, but he was no match for Melfina's brand of unstoppable personal charm.

And so, the group soon found themselves in the car, picking up gifts to bring to the party. It was ironically Aisha, just about to take a huge bite out of a hotdog, that had a thought. "Mrow. Wait a minute. Fred Luo said _seven_ guests. Who are the other two he was talking about?" If everyone hadn't been too caught between the dichotomy of thinking what to get for their flamboyant friend and the notion that a thought that kept Aisha from food, they might have noticed what they were passing by sooner.

Standing in the shade of a foodstand was a tall man wearing a long coat and a widebrimmed hat. At his side was a small girl in a wheelchair, her head covered by a sunhat. In her lap was a calico-patterned bobtail.

Chuckling as the car went by, the man looked down to his companion. "Looks like the rich boy wasn't pulling our leg. Guess decadence doesn't completely turn your heart to wormwood after all. Let's go get some presents, hm?" He began pushing her wheelchair away. "They are going to have a _fit_ when they see me."

The small girl smiled from under her hat. "I can't wait to see his face."

In its comfortable spot, the cat mewled gleefully.

**Author's Notes:**

Why does this event to transpire live in infamy?

Who are these two mystery figures, claiming to know our heroes?

Will Suzuka tell another joke ever again?

Only time will tell.


	2. Chapter Two: Countdown To What, Exactly?

**4:30:00**

**...And Counting.**

... ... ...

By the time the group had gotten all of their respective gifts in order, they'd found that they had a good three hours to spare before the party was supposed to be starting. Gene was getting himself rested up, sprawled out on the couch like a beached whale. Jim was trying his hardest to spot Aisha as she benchpressed what had to be closing in on a ton. He'd long since decided to just sit on top of one huge weight and pray that Aisha wouldn't turn the whole affair into a shot-put contest in the heat of the moment.

At the same time, Melfina and Suzuka were in the kitchen. As Suzuka watched, Melfina carefully went about slicing the vegetables to put into some stew. The bio-android watched out of the corner of her eye as Suzuka got up from the table and walked over to the counter. Wordlessly did she approach, the fighter for hire whose epithet of 'Twilight' struck fear into the hearts of any man - At least, any man cognizant of life's own fleeting transience. She carefully lifted a knife and, watching Melfina's hands, began chopping with her.

Melfina didn't know exactly what to think, right then. Was this a show of camaraderie? Did Suzuka simply wish to add cooking to her repetoire of such skills as Death In One Movement and, that which Melfina knew well from having saved her once, Crimson? Or was she simply bored out of her skull and succumbing to cabin fever like the rest of them? It could be any of the above, any combination of the possibilities, or perhaps even none at all.

What Melfina could say for sure was that two sets of hands would be very useful for cooking the evening meal before everyone got ready to head out to the party; even if one of those sets possessed experience in killing more than cooking. Melfina cautiously said, "Suzuka, if it would be okay, could you chop the meat while I chop the vegetables?" The taller woman gave a bit of a start, but quickly recovered. Nodding, she cleaned her knife at the sink and turned to the other task.

It couldn't be helped. Melfina had to turn full away to hide the delighted smile on her face to have someone to cook with. Human emotions could sometimes be a burden when they were first arising, but some, like this upwelling of joy, made the daily routine _so_ much easier. Plus, it was too endearing to see the slight awkwardness in the kitchen that Suzuka lacked on the battlefield. Even if she was still completely calm and showed not a hint of emotion, it was plain to see that her eye occasionally flicked over to Melfina for confirmation of her actions.

When a certain event from their past resurfaced, Melfina was forced to re-focus on the task at hand. Suzuka gave the slightest of smiles at Melfina's blush as she indicated that the pot was beginning to boil over. The two were soon back to their comfortable silence.

Suzuka really was like the twilight time. Quiet, difficult to understand at first, at times dangerous by nature...But to someone who could appreciate them, unsurpassed in their qualities of beauty and counsel.

... ... ...

"Aisha!"

"Hold on Jim! I've almost topped my last record!"

"Aisha, I think you need to stop!"

"No way! 117, 118, 119, 120, 121..."

"Aisha, for the love of God, _please_ stop!"

"...124, 125! _Yeah!_" With a whoop of victory, Aisha slid her way out from under the weight and stood up. Wiping sweat from her brow, she looked around. "Huh? Jim? Where'dja go? Aisha told you to spot her! Mrowww!" It was then that she turned around.

Fittingly similar to a cat that's been scared within an inch of its sixth or seventh life, Jim was gripping the huge, cylindrical weight as if it was his last link to the mortal world, flat against it. Wow he was shaking like a leaf on a tree. Aisha had never seen a Terran turn that pale.

At a loss for what to do, Aisha carefully dug her fingers in under Jim's hands. Prying his grip off in a way that wouldn't hurt him, then repeating this for the other hand, Aisha carried him awkwardly over to the couch and set him down.

He was still quivering, but color seemed to be fading back into his face. "You should be relieved! I know there are few besides a Ctarl-Ctarl whose hands I'd place my life in!" No visible response. "C'mon Jim! Aisha's sorry! If she cooks you some stew will that - "

Jim gave a low, quavering moan and tumbled over onto his side. He was now in the fetal position, staring straight forward. Aisha stared. "...Alright, scoot over. They're having a documentary on big cats that Aisha wants to see."

Though it took some work, Aisha was able to maneuvre so that she was sat on the couch with Jim's head in her lap. As she stroked her fingers through his hair, he finally began to calm.

At that moment, Gene came back into the room from the bathroom. He took one look at the scene unfolding, sighed, and went over to sit at the table.

Turning the radio on while he was walking, he stopped short at the song that played. Even Aisha couldn't help but give a snort.

_Juliet,_

_When we made love_

_You used to cry,_

_You said "I love you like_

_"The stars above,"_

_"I'll love you 'til I die..."_

Jim sighed. "That's not funny Gene!"

Gene guffawed. "_Yes it is!_"

Aisha was tearing up.

... ... ...

**3:57:46**

**...And Counting.**


End file.
